Saturday, August 4, 2012

Cloaca Maxima: It Begins (Tomorrow)

The devastation is so close, we can almost taste it. It could also be all the sand in our mouths.

Please meet us at 1:30pm this Sunday in Santa Monica. Head to the NW corner of Montana and Ocean, then go slightly to your right and towards the water, looking for Joanna -- who will be standing roughly here:

Of course, she'll be in full Roman attire...

She will direct you where to go from there.

Please be sure to bring/wear the following:

  • comfy shoes/sneakers & clothing (and keep in mind our Best Costume contest)
  • your Driver's License
  • water (we will have Vitamin Water on-site)
  • sunscreen
  • your smart phone with photo capabilities
  • the car your team will use (think about your gas tank - stopping for gas could mean the difference between 1st and 2nd place!) 

Lastly, the Cloaca Maxima After Party (wahoo!) will be at the iO West Theater in Hollywood -- 6366 Hollywood Blvd (corner of Cosmo, near Cahuenga). Feel free to invite a few friends to help you celebrate your victory. You can tell them that we will be at iO West from roughly 5-7pm and they are more than welcome to join the party! There will be $5 drink specials and winners announced and lots and lots of gloating.

Now get down and give me 20.

Team #11: Breaking Baxima

Team Name: Breaking Baxima

Team Leader: Josh "the JB" backOFF
Teammates: Evan, Melody

Unique Team Skills:
   1. Untangling basketball nets
   2. Farsi is our universal language
   3. Driving while texting


Team member most likely to get his/her nails done prior to the competition:
The obvious answer is Evan, so we'll say Melody.


Team's chances of defeating the competition (1 being disastrous, 10 being victorious):
Have you seen this video of our trainer, Mr. Kimbo Slice, in action? This is what the other "teams" can expect from us. Oh... that would be a 10!!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Team #10: Charon's H.A.M.R.

Team Name: Charon's H.A.M.R. (pronounced hammer)

It combines our team members' initials AND this little gem from www.roman-colosseum.info that says that "still living gladiators (these were the noxii, who had been sentenced to death in the arena) would receive a fatal blow to the head with a massive hammer inflicted by a man dressed like Charon, the Ferryman of the Underworld."

I think that pretty much puts our team's goal in perspective.

Team Leader: Austen Sherman
Teammates: Holly, Michael, Rachel

Unique Team Skills:
   1. We are extremely well-balanced: we have an artsy nerd, a pop culture diva, a geographical wizard, and a wannabe jock. That may or may not make us the new Spice Girls. Artsy, Poppy, Mappy, and Jocky?
   2. I'm not sure if its a skill but the majority of our team hardly knows each other and is extra eager to prove their self-worth in one hellish afternoon.
   3. 75% of our team went to Arizona State University -- and, yes, that is a skill. So no matter what you've got planned, we've probably seen crazier.

Team member most likely to call their mom the night before for a pep talk:
Rachel -- but a live pep talk as opposed to over the phone, since she lives near her mom.

But "pep talk" sounds so soft. We're thinking more "motivational monologue," i.e. Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday ... with a wig.

Dude, Rachel's mom needs a Snickers

Your team's "Morning of Cloaca Maxima/Time to Get Pumped" playlist:
   1. Superbad - James Brown
   2. Tougher Than the Rest - Bruce Springsteen
   3. Pride - Manchester Orchestra
   4. You Gotta Be - Des'ree
   5. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor (too good to leave off the list)

Team #9: Special K

Team Name: Special K

Team Leader: Nathalie Kunin
Teammates: Doug, Ethan, Louie

Unique Team Skills:
   1. Running fast (Louie)
   2. Calm under pressure (Ethan)
   3. Ability to use psychological warfare (Doug)

Dream Team

Team member most likely to confuse "Cloaca Maxima" with a new brand of cologne:
Ethan!

Scenario: In the final stretch of the competition, it's down to your team and another team comprised of "Double Dare" host Marc Summers, Justin Bieber, and a goat. Describe the final seconds of the race:
We're neck and neck with Bieber cause he's in his Fisker Karma, but in the end, Louie outruns him.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Team #8: ¡Ay, Murciélago!

Team Name: ¡Ay, Murciélago!

Team Leader: Alex Whittington
Teammates: Robert, Ben, Marshall

Unique Team Skills:
   1. Special Forces trained
   2. Navy discharged
   3. Honorably unemployed

"Ay, Murciélago" -- not to be confused with "Awwwww, Murciélago!"

Team member most likely to not pay the $10 entry fee and blame it on PayPal:
Ben Greene

Most difficult word spelled correctly and collectively by the entire team:
Murciélago

Describe the one Cloaca Maxima challenge that would completely dismantle your team:
Anything having to do with water.